


a stupid white lie

by juhwalls



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crushing, M/M, Not Beta Read, but changmin got dialogues, juyeon is mentioned like once or twice, lapslock, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 13:57:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18235823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juhwalls/pseuds/juhwalls
Summary: three months ago, while having lunch at a cafe in their university, chanhee pointed at a random student while telling his best friend “that's my crush,” just so the best friend would shut his mouth up because changmin wouldn't take no as an answer





	a stupid white lie

**Author's Note:**

> the first two paragraphs was written in feb because this was supposed to be posted on valentine day but i love procrastinating.

ah, english class. chanhee hated english class the most - he didn’t understand why the university made it compulsory for all the students to take this class. it was different if this was just an english class where the syllabus was all about writing, speaking, grammar, punctuation, and the likes, but no, this was a freaking thesis writing class. most of students couldn't even write a paragraph of essay without failing but now a whole one thousand words? it must be a joke. and if he needed to be honest, if he were to write a thesis, it would be in korean and most of students in the class probably would do so too. so, what was the use of this class?

chanhee literally dragged his feet into the class, going straight to the seat next to his best friend. the said best friend took his bag from the chair, giving the seat to him and chanhee thanks him for that. usually, the two had a lunch together and then went to the class afterwards but chanhee had some stuff going on so he asked his best friend to go first. the next hour went on with the two best friends surfing the internet for their materials and coming up with a thesis statement that wouldn't be rejected by the lecturer for the nth time. chanhee didn't remember how many thesis statements he and his best friend had come up with, just to be rejected by their fussy lecturer.

it was eleven-twenty in the morning on the dot, which mean the class should be ended by now but the professor was still talking about their paper. not that chanhee hated it - he used to because he had to run to his mathematics department building which was a few blocks away from the current building, but now he didn't care anymore. in fact, he sometimes took his time putting everything in the backpack just so he could see someone whom he had a crush on for two months now.

it started with a lie – a stupid white lie. three months ago, changmin won't stop asking him if he ever had a crush on someone after telling him about his crush on a senior who shared the same english as them. three months ago, while having lunch at a cafe in their university, chanhee pointed at a random student while telling his bestfriend “that's my crush,” just so the best friend would shut his mouth up because changmin wouldn't take no as an answer. three months ago, changmin whispered “hey, that's your crush,” to him right after they got out from their class, referring to a male student that was walking passing them by and then entered the class they walked out from.

“who?” chanhee asked, head turned to his left, looking for the guy mentioned by his best friend. unlike usual, he was in no rush on this particular day, mainly because the next class after english was cancelled.

“your crush,” changmin repeated, this time a little louder but just loud enough for chanhee to hear him again. “the one you told me about on monday.”

chanhee lips formed an O. he didn't remember the guy's face – being honest, he didn't even know his face at the very first place. he could be pointing at another person and changmin could be thinking his crush was another person for all he knew. but that didn't matter because it was not like he was having a crush for real.

“you look so calm for someone who just passed by his crush. this is so not choi chanhee.”

“well, ji changmin, not everyone is like you,” he smiled at him, “being all giddy and excited like a five year old getting a lollipop,” he leered just to have his best friend shouting that he was not like that, gaining attention from students who passed by.

“you're too loud,” he shoved his best friend.

two months and a week ago, chanhee was alone at the usual cafe – because his best friend decided to ditch him and the class for his unfinished assignments – so there he was, drinking a cup of latte while thinking about his stupid life decision. he regretted lying to changmin about his crush because he wouldn't stop whispering _'hey, it's your crush'_ to him every time they saw the guy, whom changmin decided to call him by code name: M (“ _it stands for mysterious, chanhee_ ”), at the cafe or after their class. he should've ignored changmin right there and then instead of pointing at random people while claiming them as his crush; he should've known this better. by this time, the unfamiliar face became so familiar to him that he could recognize him from meters away, and chanhee definitely could recognize M walking towards him at the moment.

“hey, sorry to bother you,” M greeted chanhee with an awkward smile, “can i seat here? there isn't any empty table,” still with his awkward smile, but that awkward smile was beautiful nevertheless, at least to chanhee.

chanhee felt relieved upon hearing that, but there was no denying that a slight of disappointment was there. relieved because the M guy was not here to ask him why his friend was always whispering every time they saw him, and as for the disappointment, chanhee himself still hadn't figured out why. he didn't know what he expected when the stranger walked towards him, but asking for the seat was definitely not the one.

“oh sure, i'm alone anyway,” he replied with small smile. it felt weird to sit here alone anyway, feeling like a loser so having someone, even though a stranger sat in front of him would make him felt a little better.

the M guy put his drink on the table before pulling out a chair and settle himself down on the opposite of chanhee's. he took out a, what looked like a note book. chanhee figured maybe the m guy had a test after the lunch. having always being here for lunch, chanhee noticed the M guy frequented this cafe during lunch as much as him, but this was his first time seeing him actually ate in the cafe. the M guy usually ordered a drink for him and walked out from the cafe right after he got his order. and no, it was not him who secretly looking at the guy, it was changmin (“ _he comes to this cafe a lot – no wonder you like this cafe_.” changmin was wrong back then)

chanhee's eyes were drifted to the guy's notebook. everything on there was written neatly – maybe he was being judgmental but he didn't expect to see such a neat note from a guy. the page next to it was filled with a few words, which he assumed to be an inspirational quote (it was not. it was actually who lives in the pineapple under the sea), having a pineapple drawn on some blank space in between two words. he didn't really understand what it meant but the calligraphy was indeed pretty.

“you're an art major?” chanhee asked – he was not planning to, but blame his mouth for working faster than his brain. “i didn't mean to look at your book and you don't have to answer me if you don't want,” he explained to the guy, just to have the guy replied him with a smile yet again.

“fine art, yes,” there was a hint of friendliness in his voice and chanhee let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding. he was sure the guy wanted to continue his words when an unfamiliar voice greeted the guy, interrupting their conversation.

“kevin,” came the unfamiliar voice, making the guy whom chanhee was sure his name was kevin, to turned to him.

“hey jacob,” kevin greeted him back. that jacob however, seemed familiar to chanhee but he didn't remember seeing him anywhere else. even his name didn't ring a bell to him. chanhee decided to brush it off because jacob guy wasn't important to him.

other than those greeting, chanhee couldn't comprehend anything they were talking at the moment simply because they conversed in english and chanhee was pretty helpless with the language – he understood a few words like canada and home but that was all to it. well, he wasn't interested in their conversation anyway.

“i'm going first,” kevin's voice snapped chanhee's out from his daze. with a smile, he nodded at kevin as an answer. he watched him walking out from the cafe with his jacob. a few seconds later, he got up and left the cafe as well.

after the encounter at the cafe, chanhee noticed kevin more often than he would like to admit; he noticed him among the crowd, he noticed him even before changmin whispered _'that's your crush'_ to him – something that had never happened before. he didn't know if it was because of the stupid baader meinhof phenomenon – now that he had talked to him even once he started seeing him everywhere, or it was simply because his eyes literally searched for him among the sea of people. but one thing sure, his heart skipped a beat, no, two beats everytime he saw kevin. chanhee though, thought it was ridiculous – they never had a real conversation and he didn't know kevin. basically, there was no reason for him to fall for the stranger. okay, maybe that awkward, boxy smile of him did send electricity to his body and his voice did melt him but that was all.

maybe chanhee really did start developing a teeny, tiny crush on the stranger named kevin

having a crush on a stranger was super hard, chanhee realized. especially if the stranger was someone in a different major than him. the only time he could see his crush was only during lunch and after his english class, which was only for a minute. kevin's class was right after his and having professor ended the class later and that it was supposed to be, it was only natural if the students from the next class were already outing outside.

every time he passed kevin at the hallway or saw him at the cafe, chanhee had the urge to talk to him, but he wasn't ready. he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of him. plus, there weren't any real reason for him to approach him – aside from his stupid crush on kevin. so every time he passed by kevin, chanhee would pretend that his presence didn't affect him in any way, that his presence didn't give him butterfly, and he definitely did not try to look at him from the corner of his eyes.

it was a typical wednesday evening when chanhee decided to spent his evening in the library. he had a test the next day and knowing that he wouldn't study once he was home, he opted for the library, following his housemates meeting their friend. juyeon had asked changmin for some tutoring for the topics discussed last week as he had to miss the whole class due to a basketball tournament. changmin was always that reliable friend whom you could turn to when you need a little help so he obviously wouldn't say no to juyeon.

half of the table were full of chanhee's book – two books were opened and spread on the table, another book was right in front of him, numbers occupied most of the blank space. sometimes he groaned out of frustration when everything on the book was too difficult for him to understand. chanhee loved mathematics, he loved numbers but discrete mathematics was not his forte – that required too much thinking. though, forty minutes into studying, he was distracted by juyeon's phone vibrated on the table. he saw him asking changmin something before typing on the phone but he paid no attention to the two – eyes went back to his book on the table.

“kevin.”

chanhee stopped doing whatever he was doing the instant he heard the name slipped out from juyeon's lips a few minutes later. _please not him_ , silently said a prayer, he lifted his face up to see if what he heard was actually right. he internally screamed _what the fuck_ upon seeing the figure who was walking towards them, though he couldn't help but to stare at him. he looked kinda different today – maybe it was because of this was the first time he saw him with his stupidly cute round glasses. it somehow fit him and made him cuter than the last time he saw him, which was two days ago (he had english class today, but the professor cancelled it, much to his disappointment)

“i hope i don't disturb you guys,” kevin said as juyeon gestured him to take a seat next to him, and chanhee could feel changmin's feet kicking him under the table – changmin turned to him with a smirk on his face. he decided to ignore those look as his hands gathered all the books on the table and put them on his right, giving some space for kevin and his books.

“juyeon and i might get a little loud so we're going to the discussion room,” changmin shoved his stuffs into his backpack and chanhee saw juyeon did the same. he wanted to protest but he knew his best friend like the back of his hand so he nodded as an answer – changmin probably was so determined to leave him with kevin alone that his words would mean nothing. he could tell him thousands of reasons why changmin shouldn't do this to him and his best friend would still leave him without feeling a slightest of guilt.

when the two left them alone, it felt like a deja vu.  here he was with his crush sitting on the opposite of him, no talking done – exactly like two months ago. and if there was anything different from that time, it was this somewhat awkward but pleasant atmosphere around them. chanhee was contemplating either he should start a conversation between them – maybe if he did start talking to him, it might a be beginning of something but what if kevin was here because he really wanted to study and was not up for a small talk? what if he said something stupid and kevin would hate him forever for that?

“we've met at caffe.ine, right?” chanhee heard kevin said, making him shifting his attention from his boring textbook to the latter.

“yes,” a faint smile was visible on his face. “kevin, right?” _oh no_. now kevin might think he was a creep, like he knew his name even before they introduced themselves to each other.

“you remember my name,” kevin replied him, and if he was feeling pleased that chanhee remembered his name, chanhee noticed that. there was no way he would forget his name when they literally passed by each other twice a week and when chanhee's tiny crush on him just turned into a big, fat crush. “isn't it a bit unfair though that i don't know your name when you know mine?”

right, chanhee mind clicked. they hadn't properly introduced themselves yet. “chanhee, choi chanhee,” he said having his attention shifted from the book to kevin, again. chanhee, in all honesty, would like to just stop studying and just stare at the perfection in front of him but that would be the same as him screaming he liked kevin, he figured.

chanhee watched kevin's nodded at his answer as he repeated chanhee's name. “math major?” his hand gestured at the books on the table. “genius,” he claimed with a smile after chanhee gave him a 'um' as an answer.

that though, earned chanhee a small chuckle. he wasn’t a genius, he was dying right there trying to understand and finding proof to whatever question in the book. “sometimes i wonder if i'm in the wrong major,” he closed his note book and picking up the books on the table afterwards. “do you want to go out with me?” chanhee stopped, _that sounded weird_. then it hit him. “uh, not going out, but literally go out from this library? i'm gonna get some coffee and if you wanna join me,” his voice trailed off. that unintentional asking out made him feel hot and he could feel his cheek was turning red. looking at kevin who was grinning at him, there was nothing more he wanted than hiding his face in a deep hole. “i'm gonna put the books on the shelves.”

but kevin's reaction to him earlier wasn't unpleasant, chanhee thought on his way to the shelves. kevin didn't look like he disliked it and if anything, he noticed a disappointment plastered with a grin on his face when he tried to explain to him. what's so bad about asking him out anyway? he asked himself while putting the books on its place. the worst thing could happen was kevin rejected him but looking at bright side, he got an answer to his huge crush and he could move on. things might get awkward between them but they weren't even friend to begin with.

maybe he should ask him out and maybe he should do it today when he actually had the chance to.

when chanhee went back to his table, kevin was already waiting for him. he walked towards him with a smile, apologizing for taking a little too long, reasoning he forgot at which section he took the book from when he actually was having some mental arguments with himself. kevin told him it was okay before asking him where did he want to go for a coffee. chanhee answered him that he was fine with any cafe as they walked away from the library and kevin proceeded to recommend this new cafe. he went on a long explanation on why the cafe was so good and chanhee would find it was so endearing if he wasn't trying to convince himself that it was better to said it now.

“...their coffee is my... “

“uh so do you wanna go out with me?” _oh god_ , he finally let the words out from his lips. maybe he interrupted kevin – he did, he knew – but at least he got his courage to say it.

“sure,” it didn't take long for kevin to answer it. it was almost as he didn't even think about the question and just casually answered it, which made chanhee thinking that kevin actually misunderstood his question.

“no, do you want to go out with me?” he asked again. this time, he emphasized 'go out' hoping that kevin would finally understand it.

“sure,” there came the answer again, but this time kevin was smiling as he said that.

chanhee stopped kevin from walking which made the latter turn to him with a puzzled expression. “i mean, go out as in...”

“yes, both going out from the library and going out as in going on dates with you,” kevin cut him off before he could finish his sentence while flashing his stupid boxy smile. that stupid smile that made his heart fluttered, that stupid smile that turned him into the biggest fool for kevin. he was – is so whipped for him. “this gotta be the most unromantic confession i ever received but can i kiss you?”

“first, i've never confessed to you, i asked you out,” chanhee crossed his arms. kevin raised his eyebrow,  wanting him to continue, chanhee figured. “second, i bet you have many admirers confessed to you before, and third, you don't even need to ask that.”

with that, chanhee tip-toed (he hated to admit it but kevin definitely is a little taller than him), pressing his lips onto kevin's . it was a quick chaste kiss, but enough to make his face went all red and his heart racing so fast. chanhee turned and walked away from kevin with his cheeks were still hot, and he didn't miss the triumph smile on kevin face.

“you call that a kiss? that couldn't even be counted as a peck.” chanhee heard kevin's shouted from the back as his footsteps became closer to him. a hint of cockiness was in his tone and chanhee could see kevin's smiling even though he was behind him. a few students gave them a look, some just shook their head at their antics and when he realized it, chanhee just wanted to disappear that instant.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

kevin was sitting on the couch, watching a weekend drama that he had been keeping up with for some times now and chanhee was comfortably lying on his lap. sometimes, when he let out a small chuckle, chanhee would shift his eyes to the television, looking at what made his boyfriend chuckled. he didn't comment anything about that, but just shifted his attention back to his book a few seconds later.

it was weekend and the two decided to spend their time at home instead of going out on dates. kevin had been having a rough week because of his art project and chanhee being the bestest boyfriend he was, deciced it was better for kevin to spend his weekend resting. plus, they went on dates every weekend that at this point, they would just rather chilling at kevin's apartment, simply because kevin lived alone while chanhee lived with changmin

“you know kevin,” chanhee started when a commercial was playing on the screen, trying to have his boyfriend's full attention. “changmin once asked me who's my crush and i just randomly pointed at you and that is how my crush on you started,” he put his book on the coffee table that was within his reach, not moving an inch from his position. it had been four months since they dated and he finally felt like telling his boyfriend about this now – something he read on the book made him, being honest.

“it was not me, actually,” kevin replied impassively, eyes still on the television.

“what did you mean that wasn't you?” to say he was shocked was an understatement. he got up from his position that instant and started demanding an explanation from kevin. chanhee never imagined what he was thinking – that the person he pointed at and the person changmin thought was his crush were two different person – would happen. just who the heck did he point at at that time and how the heck changmin could mistaken them?

kevin shifted his whole attention to chanhee, “i was at the table next to you that day,” he let out a small laugh looking at the latter's expression upon hearing his answer. “you pointed at hyunjoon, my cousin. we really look alike at the first glance so it's not a surprise you two were mistaken.” he had heard about how similar looking him and his cousin were, how they could pass as siblings and definitely had a few people mistaken them. and during that day, it just happened that the dance major came to him for a little help. while his cousin went to order his drink, he heard a familiar name from the students on the table next to him – among the two students, he recognized the blonde one. a few minutes later, he heard 'that's my crush' from the blond, hand pointed at his cousin.

“and when i approached you at the cafe, it was intentional,” kevin confessed. “i didn't plan to, but you were alone so i impulsively went to you.”

“why? what for?” he asked. “you didn't even talk to me that day,” his voice trailed off – he sounded sulky. if he remembered correctly, kevin only answered his one question and left him alone after that. he didn't look like he was intentionally did that.

“it was confusing and i wanted a confirmation, though i couldn't get the confirmation i wanted because of jacob arriving too soon” kevin replied only to have more confusion visible on the boyfriend's face. “imagine you heard you crush saying he has a crush on your cousin but then his friend wouldn't stop whispering –”

“wait,” hand in the air, chanhee stopped his boyfriend from talking further, trying to process what he had said. “you have a crush on me?” it had been four months since they dated but chanhee could feel his cheeks turned pink hearing the sudden confession. “how did you know me, though? i don't think i've met you before,” a smile was on his face because he definitely couldn't stop smiling. yes, they were dating now but to know his boyfriend had a crush on him even before he knew him made him happy.

“yeah, don't think you remember – you were drunk,” kevin shrugged.

an interrogation later, chanhee found out that kevin saw him at sangyeon's birthday party last november. that was the last time he was so drunk he couldn't remember anything. he blamed his friends for that – they were playing some drinking game, but his friends were snakes so that was how he ended being so drunk. he promised to never play any drinking games with them again after that.

it turned out kevin was introduced to sangyeon through jacob and that was how he got the answer as to why jacob's name sounded familiar to him. jacob was someone that sangyeon had been meaning to introduce to his group of friends but for some reason, they hadn't met yet.

“did drunk me do something stupid that time?”

“no, you were cute at that time.” if it hadn't for the smile on kevin's face, chanhee would find it believable. “cute enough to make me fall for the drunk you,” he reassured the latter with a kiss on his lips.

if the kiss was kevin's attempt at shutting his boyfriend up, he succeeded because his surprise kisses would never fail to flatter chanhee.

“and now if you excuse me, let me watch my drama in peace.”

“so if changmin saw the right person, i probably would end up having a crush on your cousin,” he said – sounded more like a question instead of statement – as he lay down on his boyfriend's lap. the thought of him having crush kevin's cousin was just weird.

“probably, but i would approach you and make sure you’d like me back.”

“sounds so not convincing, but i’ll give you the benefit of doubt i guess,” because chanhee would like to think they would still end up together even if changmin saw the right person. because chanhee didn’t even want to imagine how his life would be without kevin.

**Author's Note:**

> i actually have digital forensic and crypto midterm papers tomorrow but priority i guess???  
> anyway, this probably my worst work but since it's already written, why not post it. i seriously hate this so much lmao


End file.
